Divorce Mediation Vs Traditional Divorce

March 3rd, 2019 by admin

No divorce process is completely stress free, but if you choose mediation to settle your case, you could save on time, stress, and money. While divorce mediation is not as common as traditional divorce litigation, there are many advantages to choosing divorce mediation that can benefit you, your spouse and your children.

What is mediation, and how is it different from typical divorce through the court system?

Mediation divorce is the most cost effective way to manage divorce proceedings. The divorcing couple meets with a mediator – a third-person party acts as a go-between to resolve difficult custody, property matters and financial matters. Through mediation, the couple has the opportunity to decide the final terms and outcomes of the divorce in a peaceful manner that benefits both parties. In many cases it’s best to choose a mediator who has experience in family law and who can make sure that all legal issues are resolved, so an attorney who specializes in mediation is a logical choice.

Benefits of Divorce Mediation:
• Divorce mediation is significantly less expensive than going through a messy ugly hearing with a judge.
• It’s allows you to work on your time schedule instead of being forced to work on the city’s time with scheduled hearings.
• It’s gives both parties more flexibility because you can honestly discuss the terms of your parenting plan to ensure that your children are well cared for.
• There is more humane and peaceful because the mediation sessions normally take place in a conference room instead of in a courtroom with multiple people around.
• Mediation is confidential and the discussions in divorce mediation do not become a part of public record.
• We helps couples develop a communication plan that enables you to effectively communicate with each other post-divorce if children are involved.

The most significant difference, however, is that mediated divorces are not subject to arbitration. You and your estranged spouse make the final agreement, and you are not bound by the word or a judge or similar arbiter. Mediation is the method that helps you to create the ideal post-divorce scenario for your family.

What is the difference in cost?

Traditional divorce proceedings involve litigation and court proceedings. Some more complex cases go to full trial. Traditional divorce takes longer, and it can be significantly more expensive. A straightforward mediation costs as low as $10,000 and can go up depending on your assets and the number of children involved. Meanwhile, traditional divorces, complete with court fees, retainers, motions, and discoveries, can cost as much as $40,000 for just basic litigation and uncontested rulings. For many couples, mediation is sufficient for the needs of the family. To understand how divorce mediation works and if this is a good fit for you and your spouse, call Peace-Talks Mediation at (310) 301-2100.

9 Questions To Help You Stop Divorce And Fix Your Marriage

February 26th, 2019 by admin

You will learn how to better manage your thoughts, attitudes, approach and actions in response to the happy life you want instead of in response to the problems and challenges. To fix your marriage and stop a divorce you need to take a week answering each of the following questions.

What is the Number 1 problem in your marriage?

This question helps you immediately differentiate between symptoms and root problems. You will identify the problem causing the most pain. working to fix this problem will automatically solve the symptoms associated with it and relieve you of more than 50% of the issues affecting the marriage.

Why did you fall in love with your spouse?

This question helps remind you of who you said yes to before all the problems. To reconnect with the bright future you saw you need to remember the person you saw it with.

What is the purpose of your marriage?

Purpose is what anchors your marriage when expectations fail and feelings fade. The purpose of a marriage is the value it will add to society. Your marriage is just as important to the world as every hospital, school and courtroom.

What are the issues affecting the marriage?

You will categorise the issues according to the subheadings below and focus your energy on addressing the first 2.

1. Issues relating to the Number 1 Problem.

2. Issues specific to you.

3. Issues specific to your spouse.

4. Issues that affect you both.

How does your marriage function?

In this question you describe what is working well and what needs fixing. Divorce happens when the perceived poor functioning outweighs what is working well. You need to have an honest look at both sides and not just focus on the problems you need to fix.

Who influences your marriage and what are they like?

Many marriages are ruined because of advice from the wrong people. If your influencers are not people with strong stable marriages you need to rethink who you associate with.

What did the best years look like?

There was a working formula at some time in the marriage. Take time to remember how life was when you were happy.

What changed?

In a marriage things tend to go south when specific circumstances occur. Examining the good years can help you identify when and where things changed and what factors caused it.

How do you respond to the things you can’t stand?

How we respond to situations is always more important that the situation itself. When you know how you react you can take responsibility over your actions and choose a different approach. You never fix a marriage, what you fix is how you think and behave in the marriage.

Honestly exploring and answering these questions will help you see the many dynamics of your relationship that make it great, as well as those causing stress and pain. Next you will focus your energy on fixing what you have most control over. Focus less on your spouse and their issues and more on you and yours.

The Eggshell Dance

February 20th, 2019 by admin

Laughing until you cry. That’s how I would describe my marriage, especially the final years. The extreme highs and the lows. One minute you are laughing until your stomach hurts and the next you just hurt and are crying until your head hurts. It’s like walking on shifting sand, you think you are on a solid foundation and then, Poof!, it changes. It’s not until you are completely on the other side you realize you have engaged in a twisted dance, the Eggshell Dance.

Three years ago August, I had the fortune to captain and played on a tennis team bound for Nationals. Among this group of powerful women, I found my strength. We trained, we laughed, we studied the game, we drank wine together, we won matches, we had fun. Finally, the big weekend arrived. Our motto was we were going to give it our all and remember to have fun! We did, despite, ambulances, losses, and bad calls, we all remembered the joy of the game and the joy of girlfriends getting together. Our car ride home was filled with funny stories, hugs and most importantly full belly laughs. I hadn’t had so much fun in years and I felt blessed. As we drove up to my driveway, the laughter subsided and a feeling of dread shrouded me. “Be happy”, I thought, “you are home with your husband and family.” If I could have this much fun with girlfriends, surely my husband of 25 years and I could share a few genuine chuckles.

Boy, was I wrong. He came out to unload my suitcase, as any “perfect” husband would, and then we walked the green mile inside our self-imposed luxury prison. We made small talk in monotone voices, tried to act interested in one another and ate our Chinese food in strained silence. Little did I know at the time he begrudged my very existence and like a teenager annoyed with a parent for breathing and sucking up all of the air, seethed. My eggshell dance was in full swing.

Like childbirth, when we were apart from one another during the day, I forgot how painful the silence was, how hurtful the power of words, and how piercing to know deep in my heart that there were now three of us – again. I knew this time it was different, this time the eggs shells were being crushed, the dance was coming to an end. I felt powerless and after years of living this lifestyle was immersed in my own fear. Publicly, I laughed, internally I cried and then I played the victim. My husband was cheating, gallivanting all over town with another woman who was also desperate in love with him, and I faced it by lamenting “Oh poor me”. Our community of friends and social gawkers ate it up. Everybody loves a victim and a story that’s not their own. They fed my ego, or lack of ego by saying, “he’s awful”, “she’s a tramp”. It was comforting because I was able to continue my part of the dance and not confront my fears, years of emotional abuse(emotional abuse that I willingly participated) had nearly annihilated my self-worth and esteem. I was a bright, capable woman fearful that the I had zero skills or assets and I was destined to work at a minimum wage job, part-time, that no one would want me. Pretending all the time, to others and to myself, wavering between fits of anger and desperation, clinging to a lifestyle that deep down I despised, mourning the loss of my family as I knew it and most importantly, mourning the loss of me. Vacillating between speaking my mind, to looking for marriage counselors, to long discussions about how we could be a family once again. It’s exhausting. This is the Eggshell Dance and I was a chicken!

Months passed and I continued to dance. It’s easier to pretend than to look in the mirror and admit that my footsteps carried me into this twisted charade. It’s easier to blame someone else rather than admit I was addicted to the drama hiding behind, “I am a smart woman”, of course, I was beaten down by a monster, of course, none of this was my fault. I looked the other way for years, reveling in the (eggshell)good times and terrorized in the bad times. What person wants to admit to their family and friends that they tolerate, no not tolerate, but accept the invitation to dance?

Ironically, despite years of hearing I was awkward and without rhythm, I danced the Eggshell dance with perfect precision and timing. It was time to learn a new dance. Without a second thought, I signed up for dance lessons. I was learning new dances, the waltz, the tango, the foxtrot and I even entered a beginner dance competition in Las Vegas. Little did I recognize the paradoxical humor of my new dance moves. Literally, I changed the dance. The chicken I once was doing the Eggshell Dance was becoming a graceful, confident Swan doing the waltz!

How God Arranged My Divorce

February 13th, 2019 by admin

The claim that marriage is from God is as false as everything else about religious ideology. The so-called vows one undertakes are nothing but magical words meant to somehow change the status of someone. In fact, all they do is bring two people into church or wherever for the sake of the law. Be that religious or secular law it makes little difference when the end result is pain and suffering from living together.

Following my reincarnation and with a link to the Spirit many things became apparent from a young age. There is no heaven or hell, for instance, and without evidence of same people pay a fortune for the promise of a safe ride into eternity with good things happening. The alternative is they will reside in an eternal fire, according to the myths they are brain-washed into believing.

When it was my turn to marry and have children things went wrong from the start. It was the worst experience of my life and the loneliness of the situation was impossible to bear. Once when we were on a holiday in my caravan which was bought for the purpose of taking the children away for breaks the Spirit intervened in a most remarkable way.

We were at a seaside resort in Norther New South Wales and later that night he made up the other bed to sleep in. As I wondered about it the Spirit gave me a vision of him floating away like a dead fish down the river. This was virtually a warning that the marriage was over and the power was with me.

The next morning, he took off by train leaving me alone with the kids and the caravan and no money. This was not an easy situation to be in but again provision was made and we were able to get back to Sydney leaving the caravan behind.

The divorce followed soon after and then the Spirit called me to the work I now do. That followed a commission to break down the barrier of deceit and expose the roots of religion in sun-worship. We are nearing the end of the day and the world will soon change forever. Those who remain will be the spiritual people who have been prepared to be gathered.

During the course of the 4,000 years long day we have all reincarnated at least six times (Job 5:19-21) and now is the judgment. Those who oppose the Spirit and have gone after the false gods of religion will be taken away forever. The survivors will be alive again and the real God will rid the world of all the evil. That is the promise and the plan of God.